The 5 Must Haves this Holiday Season.

Think back to when you were a child.  There was a time before all of us had attachments to our blankets, stuffed animals, or favorite toy. Most of us can’t remember this far back, but it was the time when we saw our parents, not as separate, but rather an extension of us. It was a time when we felt joy with just a few essential things.  The desires of the world that preceded this time have caused either our suffering or have given us the drive for our blessings, but now it is time to go back to the essentials.  What were the first 5 things we had that brought us joy, from as far back as the womb, and do you and those you pass on the street have them this Holiday.

1   A warm place to stay

2  Nourishment

3   Rest

4   Play

5    Love

Rather than getting the impossible gift for the person that has everything this year, why not bond together with them and make sure that everyone you meet has the top 5 first.  Lets remember a time when we didn’t believe that we were separate or know that there were objects of the world to desire other than these things, because I guarantee that some people who appear to have it all are missing some of the essentials this year.  

Play

Catholic to Tantric

Confession time from this asana addict…I am a catholic wannabe from way back!!  Born to hippie parents that knew little boundaries or ritual, though a house that valued laughter and tradition. I longed for the structure and reverence and parents that would force me to go to church like my best friends’ parents did.  My grandfather would pick up my sister and I some Sundays and take us to church. I looked around at the bodies moving up and down trying to keep up the way I did the first time I entered a yoga class. Are we kneeling or are we standing? Sitting or kneeling? How is my alignment?  I tried to follow the prayers that everyone else had memorized, feeling like I would never fit into the "cult-like" group.  However confused and judging of myself I became, during this ritual, the whole experience  would leave me exhilarated and full. I loved singing out at the top of my lungs to God. I was sure I would grow up to be a nun(haha). My days of wanting to be Catholic have changed a bit since being convinced by my husband to join before we were married, during the one point in my life when I was just not interested.(timing is everything-i was a very bad catholic girl!) I still love our Catholic church we attend once in awhile, with our priest that looks like Santa Claus, the rituals, that I now have memorized, the pew sun salutations, and singing(although I love chanting in sanskrit much more) I think this is why the "Catholic wannabe" in me is so drawn to the study of  Tantric Shaivism, the direction my sadhana(daily practice) is leading me to these days. The mantras, the ritual, the breath, Oh my! Some of my friends still think that Tantra is about sex…it certainly makes it a lot more interesting to think about in these terms.  After all, most of us remember the first time that we made love…the confusion, amazement, and rapture of it all.  Or the first kiss.. wet, weird, and the thoughts of “Am I doing it right,” even though we had practiced on our hands or at the mirror hundreds of times before the actual act with Jeremy Peacock(hmm.. maybe that is why I can't stand peacock pose).  Or for me the first time I practiced vinyasa, much like dancing, laying in savasana(relaxation) at the end of class with a feeling that I had been through a storm and was shipwrecked, washed up on the beach, and now laid there not know what just happened, or who I was, but here now.. alive. This is why I am an addict of asana, love, and devotion, and why the rituals and practice of Tantra are certainly appealing to me.  The breath and sound rituals are the way that we can access the present moment. The average adult breathes approximately 21,600 times a day. Each one of these breaths is an opportunity to feel alive and experience this moment unlike any other!  In a world of to do lists, which sometimes include our yoga practice, tea with friends, and being with our beloved, as things we check off at the end of the day, we all need these reminders and rituals to pause and be alive in these experiences. We all remember the first time we do something new, but how often do we remember the last.  Will we remember the details of the last time that we make love as much as the first, or the last kiss as much as the first(Yuck) or the last conversation with our wise friend or grandfather.

Each moment we breath-in we have the ability within us to be enlightened, which means awake. The pause is what helps us remember. 

“The question is not will I ever become enlightened, rather can I become enlightened right now.” – Chris Tompkins

When we enter into the present moment even a leaf falling from the branch of a tree, seems to hold all of the joy and suffering of the human race.  It floats softly, sparkly, circular... following the pattern of our breath.  What if we all remembered at the same time?  Maybe the Mayan calendar would be true and time would cease to exist.  And then!?  As a wise one once said, “What happen’s after enlightenment? Laundry!”.

Here and There

Far Away

I am searching for you

Waiting, Restless

Looking here and there, not knowing

Unaware

I have forgotten

Still searching

For you, For Love

Random images, confusion

Flash like scenes from a dream

Far Away

You are watching

Waiting, Restless

I sit, Motionless

I feel you ripple through me

The way waves caress each piece of sand on the shore

Each cell in my body is bathed by your light, your beauty

Alive

Full of love, Ecstasy

I remember

I shutter, quake

Awake

Eyes Open, I sleep

Searching

Still Searching

Far Away, and Knowing

Here Now

The World doesn’t Happen to US..It Happens Because of us..Just Imagine!!

Wherever you go, you carry your own imagination.  Even if you go to heaven, you won’t be able to see it as heaven if there is a hell in your heart.  If you have a heaven in your heart, you would even enjoy hell.  Yes it’s true. Because you would see heaven there. It is all up to you.

            -Swami Satchidananda

This was the passage that I read today at breakfast as I set my intention for the day.  I recently got back from a Prana Flow training in LA.  Back in Fort Wayne, Indiana where everything is so spread out,  missing my daily walks, and no car necessary approach to life, I hesitantly loaded my girls into the car to take them to daycare.  As I turned the key, nothing happened.  I was honestly grateful, because now we were forced to walk to daycare which is only a mile away.

It’s just that, well, we sort of live in the ghetto, and so I usually start my car up to drive them a mile away, and then if I want to go for a walk, drive another half mile to  walk around the beautiful park and golf course.  Today I was forced to take the less sexy or scenic walk. I realized that I was doing something that was not only good for my body, my kids, and the environment, but I couldn’t help but feel down and stressed.  Much less peaceful and present than when I walk through the beautiful park, that I usually drive to, even though it is only a mile away from my home.  I was feeling discouraged about where we live and how the people around us live, thinking that we need to move and judging everyone around me.  My kids were thrilled about the walk, and I was thankful that it wouldn’t take long, since I have a daycare provider so close.  As we walked, and I judged, my 5 year old pointed to a home that we passed, you know the neighbor that has several porcelain figures, planters, and a bathtub alter with mother Mary, set up in the yard ..look mom…cool!! They have so much cool Halloween stuff ready, then she pointed down to a shiny 3 musketeers wrapper in another neighbors yard(my kids don’t really know what candy bar wrappers look like)”Look at that beautiful flower mom!”  I reflected on the passage that I began my day with.  Wherever you go, carry your own imagination.

It is easy to be inspired, feel sexy, and look younger, when we get out of our everyday lives and habitual ways of living. Like when we go on a vacation, go on a yoga retreat, or wake up on a beach or a mountain top.   But how do we do this in our every day lives?  How do we stop grasping for something other than where we are right now, and live and love every moment.  We use our imagination.  I started using mine, and began “picking flowers” on the way home.  Not only was I cutting down on toxins in the environment today by not being able to turn on my car, I was helping to make my neighborhood a more beautiful place.  Instead of obsessing about the new sexy Chevy Volt that I want, to show what a great yogi I am, I embrace being able to use my legs and hands for serving those around me. To serve those that may not have the time, health, or inspiration to clean up their own yard.  As for the home with the Halloween décor all over the yard, well..at least it makes my daughter excited, and I have an alter at home too, we are not so different.  It doesn’t matter weather we are laying on a beach in LA or walking through the ghetto on a drizzly day.  If you are joyful you experience joy, wherever you are.  What matters is how we walk this walk, and if we are reaching out to inspire and uplift others along the way. Be the one to capture something new today, to see something different than you usually do, and to carry your imagination with you.  Change the, sometimes mundane, walk through life, into a path of beauty and wonderment.  It’s all up to you.

Be Joy! Wherever you are!!

How Yoga Made Me a Terrible Runner

As I climb on the treadmill today the familiar-faced gentlemen beside me says, ”Hi Dani! You’re still running?” Looking surprised to see my yoga bum at the YMCA. Well I am standing on a treadmill with my worn out sneakers, so he is obviously referring to something else…

I think to myself, what has happened to me! I used to be a “Runner”. Has yoga affected my ability to run? Yes, and it has affected my ability to flee. For most of my life, my water-like persona has been to run from one endeavor to the next. Shape shifting into what “I thought” everyone else wanted from me. It is much easier to shy away from our selves than to face the truth. We are all running from something at sometime or another on this path, and quite frankly running is exhausting, and can never satisfy the soul. In the words of Carbon Leaf, “it takes the courage of a lamb to run, the fierceness of a storm to love.” I used to think that to love was to be weak…weak in the knees, weak-willed, week stomached with the floating butterflies. I would like to thank Walt Disney for the role model of the female princess, so soft and feminine that a bird will land on her finger as she sings in her angle like voice. I still get so excited when the little squirrel that visits my front porch for the few walnuts I leave, comes to visit me, just so I can imagine I have that certain grace, and nurturing, goddess energy, that animals flock to for comfort and companionship. And thank you even more for the thought that I am the type that falls all over herself, and into the arms of the man, whom without, I would be incomplete.
Many times we end up searching outside of ourselves for everyone and everything to give our power to. It takes incredible strength to own our power, be fully ourselves, and a constant awareness that we are not falling back into those habitual thought patterns that our society, and Walt, have left impressed into our subconscious. Through my yoga practice I have found my core beliefs and strength, and it is earth shaking to finally realize this that is inherently ours.
If there are two things I want my daughters to learn from my parenting, or anyone else in life, it is that they are powerful and loved beyond what they could ever imagine.
Rumi sends a much more positive message to our soul that I’ve witnessed through the practice of yoga…”The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

It takes courage to be a vessel for this type of love.
If we stop running… what happens when we stay? When we stay in a difficult yoga pose…the sensations change and transform. But only if you are honest and aware of what you are feeling. In order to stay you have to be fully in touch with your emotions, even if they are socially unacceptable or unpopular. This is the most difficult part when you are a recovering people pleaser like myself. Really feel what you are feeling. How often do we do this? We are usually too busy or the timing is not right to acknowledge what we feel, or we let our judging mind determine whether it is a good or bad to feel this way. Just stop, and really feel what you are feeling today. It may not be popular, and it will most likely be uncomfortable, but it is the truth. To try to reason with our emotions is the biggest way to flee from our lives, as you take a back seat to your mind and emotions playing a game of tug of war. This can become a continuous inner struggle unless we let go of the rope, feel what we are feeling, and then move on purpose with purpose.
“Reason is like an officer when the king appears. The officer then loses his power and hides himself. Reason is the shadow cast by God; Go is the sun.”-rumi
When Walt thaws out, I would like to see him write a story about the Princess that saves herself…

The man on the other treadmill noticed the confusion in my face waiting patiently as I reply “no, I am not still running” turn on my treadmill, put my earbuds in place, and exhaust myself for the next 3 miles.

Why Yogis are OK with being naked

As yoga clothes start to resemble lingerie ads, nude yoga calendars are being printed, and I hear chatter of my students discussing their nude beach experience, I start to wonder what it is with naked yogis. Is it that they want to show off their “yoga buns”? I have bought into some of this myself (mostly the feminine looking yoga outfits) and although I consider myself a “free spirit,” the thought of baring all makes me a little flush in my cheeks. Am I a prude, and why are yogis so comfortable with this?
This brings me back to an interesting experience I encountered in my early twenties with a guitar teacher of mine. Let’s call him “Harry” to protect his identity. I began taking guitar lessons at the request of my then boyfriend (Chris) in hopes that we could form a rock band together. Although I was feeling “too old” and insecure to begin learning an instrument, I put my fear aside and went for it, getting the highest recommended yoga teacher in town. Each week when I showed up for my lesson, I felt anxious and exposed, due to my own lack of confidence. As the lessons progressed and I began feeling more comfortable, it seems harry was too. Yes it is true… I showed up for my lesson and Harry was the one who was exposed (naked)this week. After a moment, an apology for forgetting about my lesson, and a quick change we proceeded as usual. I thought to myself, “Wow, who would have known he was a nudist.” I went back the next week. Same thing. This time it was “laundry day”. I left vowing to never return, but being coaxed into it by my boyfriend, who didn’t fully believe me (and would have much rather had the Janice Joplin, than the Seane Corne type) went back a third time. Needless to say (since I am not a famous guitarist) I didn’t go back again. In fact, I quit playing guitar because in my avidya(illusion) I thought it was Harry’s way of telling me I was not a worthy guitar student, because I had NO rhythm. I have never been one to judge others, only myself. THANKFULLY Yoga has helped me turn away from this judging mind and feel more comfortable in my SKIN. Maybe not to the extent of sitting naked on the beach (although I would like to think I could) and the nude yoga classes, well they just seem like they would be as awkward as a naked guitar lesson.
Why are many yogis comfortable in the buff..well..I think it is this reason.
I have had students express to me the awkwardness they feel post savasana (deep relaxation) bliss. This is the point where we pause and look deep into each other’s eyes for a moment before bowing our heads in Namaste (light in me-honors the light in you). Here we sit much more exposed than when we are nude. Through the process of yoga, we shed the layers that we put on ourselves or others put on us that lead to our fears and insecurities. We come in to this world naked and pure, like a crystal clear wine glass, and then we get passed around and the imprints began to dim our sparkle. Yoga begins to wipe these smudges away and if we are lucky, we can catch the glimmer that is there…here we sit uncovered, natural, crystal clear. Namaste’

No ADD in Belize

On my recent trip to Belize I was finally forced out of my “comfort zone” that I have been reflecting on so much lately. I am able to cross things off a bucket list I never knew existed! One of them being the amazing Actun Tunichil Muknal tour, otherwise noted as ATM tour on our itinerary. When I signed up, I went with my intuition, trusting this would be the right choice, even though I had no idea what an ATM tour was. For all I knew this would be a place were we could go and pull out some much needed American cash, so I said SIGN ME UP. After all, I was most concerned about teaching some yoga in a beautiful place, and getting the heck out of snow-pocalypse and record lows in Indiana . I found out the night before our tour, at dinner, that this was a 6 hour Cave Tour that we would have to swim to enter the cave. Hmm, so 5 hours with no light, cold, and wet. Though not my usual idea of a good time, I smiled an uncomfortable smile, put my fears on the shelf, and surrendered to the whole experience. Just as you do when you realize that you have just entered a yoga class where the teacher can be likened to the dentist. As we arrived at our destination, we all left our waters, lunch and dry clothing at the picnic area, pulled up a bush for those of us that drank too much coffee, and than headed through the lake and into the cave. At first I thought I could make it in by hugging the wall, and not have to swim and get wet, but since a huge black wall spider had the same idea, needless to say; I dove in, doggy-paddled my way to shallow water, and began the journey into the underworld. I clung to our guide on the way, finding comfort from him. We all had to pass on messages to one another and if one of us failed to do so, someone could have gotten injured. We all became important messengers. There was a great amount of respect and reverence in the way the guide led us through the darkness. He pointed up to a beautiful opening in the cave where sunlight filtered down, and told us to say goodbye to the last bit of light for the next few hours….

Further down our path we came to a place in the cave where a plant grew, 6oo feet down, with no sunlight. “How was this possible?”, we wondered. It had soil, water, and seed from the fruit bat’s excrement. Where was the light it needed? The guide has us turn off our headlamps. It was completely black. We turned them back on, and he said “it is your light.” It made me think that it had to be more than just the artificial light that we wore on the top of our adorable read helmets (see photo). Out of the hundreds of tours here, if we all stop to pay attention to this plant, of course it will thrive.
I thought about the things that I have been paying attention to in my life. Do my thoughts line up with the things I want to flourish?
What we pay attention to, is what expands and grows. Are my thoughts supporting my intention and aim? Ask yourself this question, “Does my mind revolve around worry and fear, or do I focus positive energy on the areas I want to sprout new beginnings in my life?” Even if it begins with a pile of shit, there is possibility for growth…
We made it through the cave to the main area that looked like a Cathedral, saw the famous Mayan pottery and skeletons, and then sat in the Cathedral. There is something about meditation in blackness, opening your eyes, there is still nothing to entertain, nothing to excited the sense of sight, so inward we go…
As we headed back I was much more relaxed and in the moment after meditation, rather than grasping toward warmth, light, and my veggie sandwich. As we passed the plant on the way out, I leaned over and touched the leaves. Trying to give back a little “prana”, for the gratitude I felt, for the reminder to pay attention to what matters. The people in Belize do a great job of paying attention. The kids are happy, the environment is well cared for, the stray animals are plump with shinny coats, and there is vegetation and orange grooves lining every highway. Contrasting our society, where we lack attention as we are multitasking in our superhighway of technology. Attention Deficit Disorder is on the rise, eye contact is no longer the norm…
I take a breath in a country that has the attitude of slow and attentive, and feel peace and joy.
A few days later I am sitting at breakfast enjoying the fresh food and peaceful sounds, as we are preparing to leave the island to return to American soil. Suddenly I am startled by a sound coming from my purse. It was my cell phone (which didn’t have reception the whole week, until this moment) Time to go home…
A place of peace and joy.

Every moment can possess magic

“Power to manifest. Every moment can possess magic.” I heard someone talking about this the other day on Oprah radio. I instantly thought THAT’S YOGA. For many years now, I have been amazed how what I chose to focus on, shows up in my life. I know this to be true, yet it always stuns me. Imagining that we have this power is responsibility, when I use to leave everything up to, or blame everything on, “Destiny”.

Still this thought isn’t quite complete. There is so much more to happiness and peace than being a co-creator in our life. If we truly want happiness, everything we manifest should be for others, not ourselves. Switching from the idea that every moment can possess magic, to every moment IS magic, is a much more powerful way of thinking and being. Open up those eyelids to experience what is in front of you, NOW.

My 5 year old just learned the days of the week song at school and serenades me daily,Sunday Monday Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday Friday, Sat-uur-day, and then begins again. Although I am proud of her for learning the days of the week, I can’t help but get stressed out at the thought of a week going by so quickly, and then doing it all over again! It usually ends up being the same thing… always striving for something more, or something different… but the same week just begins again. This is our”week-ness”. This is our samskara (habitual patterns and unaware-ness in each day, that creates the karma of our life) If you have ever caught yourself wondering how in the heck you got to this place/mess, it is usually because this unconscious thought pattern was your tour guide. No matter how high of an intention we set for ourselves, if we are not present, we will never propel ourselves to where we need to be.
What do we do now, as many of us have already fallen off the wagon of our New Year intentions, because of life, or ourselves, getting in the way? We color outside of the lines! Do something that frightens you!! Something out of your comfort zone! Challenge yourself, without being attached to the outcome of whether you “succeed”, or “fail”. Discover that inner child that once knew it was OK to color outside the lines. Only you, have the power to change that week-ness into empowerment. As we get older, many times, our fear of failure keeps us from trying. I recently picked up the guitar AGAIN, because I really love to play, but I can get so discouraged when I do not sound like Jimmie Hendrix. I know I probably never will, but I am able to let go of needing to be perfect, or even good for that matter. What is important, is that I have surrendered any expectations and within that, have found myself fully enjoying being present, during my noisy meditation. Do something completely out of the ordinary, without fear of judgment, or looking/sounding a little dorky. Stop saying, “I should eat more mindfully, I am going to learn a new language, or play that instrument when I have more time, I am going to be with the people I love more, or more like the people I love.” Keep it simple. Open your eyelids and wake up to whatever life is presenting for you. Be a co-creator by being alive and of service now. As a great yogi tea bag once said. “If you are unconsciously living a conscious life, you will never be poor.”