Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Kisses for Callousness

William P Young, author of The Shack, was on Oprah XM radio the other day talking about Relationship, and the fact that relationship will hurt us more than anything else in this world, but that through relationship we would also discover the healing we needed. I was moved, because I know this to be true in my own life and was able to be a witness to this phenomenon just this morning with my children… As I was sitting at breakfast with them… Brenna (The 4 year old) was pointing her finger in Teaghan’s (The 1 year old), face. Teaghan was smacking her hand away in defense when suddenly she realized that Brenna had a bandage on her finger, symbolizing an “owie”. She stopped defending herself and leaned over to kiss the bandage on her sister’s finger. Instantly, the progressively worsening situation transformed from frustration and anger, into a peaceful moment, and love.
What a great opportunity we have as yogis and yoginis, to take this awareness into action in our world through the practice of yoga. Remembering first, that the back bending we do on our mats is not simply for us to look prettier and more youthful, but to cultivate the quality of compassion in our lives. I have always had a flexible spine and compassionate heart. I am grateful that I was able to realize from a young age that people wanting to cause pain are the ones in pain, and they are just reaching out for help from a place of that pain. I may have taken this ideal to an extreme, as I have often daydreamed that if I was ever in a situation where I was afflicted with an act of violence, I could tap in to the perpetrator’s pain, we would talk, and there would be an opportunity for healing. Yes this scenario is extremely naïve but, I believe, there is truth in it.
About 8 years ago I was accompanying my sister to a building in a fairly bad neighborhood downtown. Why she chose me as her protector, I have no idea. As we entered the building there were some young boys harassing us on the steps, so I turned to them and said in a slightly whiny voice. “Well(pause) why aren’t you very nice to girls.” And then turned and walked away. My sister’s face had a look something between horror and amusement. This story often comes up as entertainment during our family gatherings, but the part that they forget to include is that the young man did actually feel bad, followed us inside, and in “his own way” apologized. I smiled, felt compassion for him, and all was ok. Except for my sister’s embarrassment of having such a dorky older sibling.
Swami Satchidanana says that a happy face is a reflection of our happiness, a sad face a reflection of our sorrow. Therefore relationship must begin with us.
My Grandmother, who most of my family thinks is crazy because she walks around talking to God all day, once told me during one of her conversations with God she heard just one word…RELATIONSHIP.
William P Young talks about the importance of relationship in our lives, and in healing what is in our Shacks.

Yoga means relationship.
For many years I was reckless with the idea of relationship. The idea of relationship with myself, my loved ones, the environment, and God, seemed impossible, even, at times, terrifying. Through the practice of yoga I started nurturing the relationship with myself, and I healed, then I was strong enough to nurture relationships with others and we healed each other.
As I think about my one year old peacemaker, recognizing her sister’s wound, and turning violence into peace with just a kiss, I wonder how far can we, when united, take this concept into our world. I think of how powerful we are together and it gives me hope. Hope for changing the mess we have made with our societal need for wealth and beauty, hope for the mess we’ve made in our friendships and romances, and hope for the mess we have made of our environment. We can start small by being a little kinder to ourselves next time we can’t reach our toes in paschimottanasana (seated forward bend), or pausing to acknowledge the pain of another before lashing out defensively. We can choose to get involved in helping the planet, and stop making excuses. Most importantly we can always be mindful of moving from a place in our hearts, and trust in the truth of love that comes from a kiss of compassion.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A lesson in non-attachment

I’ve always considered myself a fairly unattached person when it comes to expectations and outcomes of creative projects and relationships in my life, so much so that I’ve often been given the name of Serendipity. I’ve even at times felt like I have had to “fake enthusiasm” when I felt like my own didn’t match the magnitude of the situation. Why then.. did I find myself waking, heart pounding, from a crazy dream just a few weeks ago…goes something like this..Me and my lovely family over at a couples home for dinner when suddenly I had this incredible urge to run. I instantly realized that we were whats for dinner..There was an energy force like a vacuum that was about to devour us, so I grabbed all of my THINGS and started running. I also snatched up my youngest, Teaghan, and as I noticed her sister, Brenna standing in the doorway of darkness, similar to the scene in Poltergeist, grabbed her with my other arm. I was finding it really hard to run as the force was getting stronger. With a child in each arm, and all of the stuff I was trying to bring with me it became nearly impossibly to move. I was stressed about all of the clothes falling out of my half zipped suitcase, but still would not drop it. The apex was when I turned to my husband who was already very confused by our dinner party turned voracious energy field, and told him to go back to grab my Macbook. Whoever said that God speaks to us in whispers…well that just isn’t always the case in my life. This dream was much different the the etherial ones that usually grace my sleep, and a no joke, slap in the face lesson on non-attachment. That day as I walked around my home I noticed a bookshelf full of dusty yoga books(the kind you surround yourself with when you first begin to teach because it gives you an air of confidence you don’t believe you naturally possess) a desk full of papers, notes, and bills from not one, but two yoga studios, I have recently opened. I glance at my macbook, the thing I so willingly sent my husband into the flesh eating energy pit for, desktop cluttered with icons of old yoga photos, flyer, links, anatomy pics..on and on. I began to wonder if this was a reflection of my mind..the thing I came to yoga to calm, just cluttered with new attachments. Here I was, caught somewhere between the business of yoga and the heart of yoga. If the spiritual path is all about letting go, why then have I acquired so much crap!! I am admittedly attached to my macbook, facebook, yoga books, and liberation. The Vedantic scriptures say, “Even the desire for liberation is bondage.” I guess it is inevitable being human, living in this society, holding this passion, and given the serendipitous nature of my life thus far. Thankfully when I stray of the path too long God screams at me to get back on, and always continue practicing. Really that is the essence of it, PRACTICE. I have been practicing letting go and packing a little lighter these days so that I can zip my suitcase completely. I have also witnessed the beauty of being able to stay. There is something powerful about staying in a moment when you have the urge to flee… Staying present in the midst of chaos, that as westerners we cannot run from, staying light in the eye of darkness, and staying calm in the face of fear. When we stay we can serve each other, and truly put our attachments down for a moment.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Confessions of an Asana Addict

A blog by a thirty-something girl that loves Love, Life, Family, Food, God, and Yoga. Since I am unable to quiet the chitta (mental chatter) and control Tanha’ (thirst) for earthly pleasures. I am using this as a forum to confess them, and give us all a chance to laugh at the nature of ourselves on the journey to the Self.